Monday, February 8, 2010

Turn On The Charm






In addition to sending out that first email, there are going to be times when you will need to actually talk to the other person.  It may be just through the email at first, but will likely lead to instant message conversations and then to the phone.

One thing that you will want to make sure comes through in the entire process is your charm.  No matter if you are a guy or the girl; you want to give off the right impression to them through the words that you use.  Often time’s people do not realize that words typed do not have the same feeling as words said.  Therefore, you need to insure you use the write wording for true success.

For example, you want to make sure you are saying things that will keep the conversation going in a positive direction.  You will need to choose your words wisely and accurately.  Do not say things sarcastically unless you are sure that they will get it.  It could easily turn out to be a big insult to them and hurt them.

One of the largest mistakes with online dating is letting the conversation go.  People will find themselves talking to someone through an email only to turn around and stop.

You need to insure that you say things that will bring up new things and keep things moving.  Many relationships fail because someone has stopped chatting.

It Doesn’t Stop There

Yet, emails and instant messages are only good for a short period of time.  The fact is that you will need to take it to the next level at some point.  Again, girls and guys can do and should do this.  Don’t wait for someone else to make the right move. 

If you wait, you are likely to lose out altogether on the relationship.

If you feel that it is time to give her or him a call, then it is time.  In fact, if you let this extend past the first few emails, then you may have lost your shot.  So, when you have spent some time talking back and forth and still are interested in this person, send them an email asking for their phone number.

Yes, it is okay to ask for their phone number of the first email but it is often a better bet to get it if you wait until the second email, or the one they reply to.

The goal is to get the call and make it happen as this is what will take a standard meeting of someone to the next level.  That is what you set out to do, right?

Saying The Right Thing

Are you worried that you will not say the right thing?  Perhaps you are thinking that there is not going to be a way for you to make that call or to contact that person.  You just would not know what to say.

If you take on this mentality, you are going to find yourself never getting anywhere when it comes to online dating.  Instead, use these tricks to help you get through the tougher times.

1.    At first, you are not talking to anyone other than someone that may turn out to be a friend.  You are just meeting new people.  Think about this as you are getting started in writing to the other person.

2.    Next, really think about what you are writing but ask things that are things that you are really interested in.  If they made note of taking several trips in the last few years, ask them where they went and what they enjoyed on those trips.  Find things that you really want to know about.

3.    To be positive and have your personality come through, add your own comments and thoughts in.  If they went hiking in an area that you did, simply comment about how when you went there, your favorite part was at xyz point. 

4.    Compliments work magic on people.  You want to make sure that people feel good about themselves when talking to you.  You should say something like, “I thought your profile was really interesting.  You have a talent for writing!”  Compliments always bring a smile as long as they are in good taste and kept to just a few.

5.    Remember, if this does not work out with them, there are plenty of others out there.  There is nothing on the line here.  The only thing that is at risk is your ability to go out and find someone for you.